For many of you, you won't hear our news until a few more weeks yet. (I've actually posted this after we've shared the news). I just needed a way to secretly express how I've been feeling these past two weeks.

For the first few days in July, I've been feeling a little off. Not in a bad way, but things definitely feel different with my body. I have my suspicions. I think I'm pregnant. Couldn't be possible, right? After EVERYTHING we've gone through and how very little our chances of even conceiving the good ol' fasion way will actually come to fruition. Still, I can't shake this feeling that I'm pregnant. I share my concerns with RT. He jokingly says that I am trying to "will myself to become pregnant."

Before I left for my month long stay with my sister in Florida, I just had a very important appointment with my nephrologist. He was the last doctor I needed to see before we got the "green light" to officially begin trying to conceive naturally. I was so giddy when I left for my trip because he told me that there was no reason, even with my PKD, that I couldn't have kids right now.

So, what if? Just what are the chances that I will be pregnant after all? And, if that's the case, what happens next? It will be thrilling and very scary all at once. But, what if?

Our friends decided to escape the valley heat and migrated our way last weekend. Kathy hadn't been to our place since last year before we started making some home improvements. I hope she saw some changes! It was a relaxing time to catch up, eat some good food, and enjoy the company. We set out to kayak the following morning. Despite all the fog and overcast days, this day turned out to be one of Morro Bay's finest with the sun gracing us with its presence and lighting up the bay (although it doesn't look so sunny in the pictures). The tandem kayak is always a good thing as it really takes a lot of the pressure off me to paddle (thanks RT!) and I rest when I get tired--which is often...ha...ha...We got out of the kayak and hiked over to the dunes. Being in that soft sand with the steep terrain was really a workout, but I pressed on because I wanted to see the other side. Turns out it was just more beach, but I did notice the guys "frolicking" in the water as if climbing up the hill was no big deal as I'm huffing and puffing and thinking, "I'm headed back."

There were a lot of sea lions and one lonely otter (it's the zoom lens---we were not that close!). After our trek, we treated ourselves (or rather our other friend, Clarence, did) to some fish and chips. The line at Giovanni's was outrageous! Everyone else had the same idea, but did they work for it? It was worth it after we all devoured our lunch! I hope Kathy and Corby had a nice time hanging out with us. Come back soon!

Today RT and I traveled to L.A. to listen to my mother give a speech at her church, Rissho Kosei-Kai to celebrate the Ullambana Sutra, a practice that is the basis of the Obon ceremony in honor of one's ancestors which is still observed widely in Japan in August. A couple months ago, my mother was sitting at our house, writing out her speech and deep in thought. I was really surprised that my mom was going to participate in public speaking! So, I knew that I didn't want to miss this for anything.
When we got to the church, my mother was very happy to see us. My dad arrived in L.A. about the same time as we did. She didn't seem nervous at all. She introduced us to all her church friends, and they all were very happy and thankful that we made the long drive for my mother's support.
After a very long ceremony of chanting, the three presenters came up. I already knew before my mother started talking that I would be breaking down in tears. I had a feeling that my mom mentioned something about my ordeal with pancreatitis. Here's a clue: One woman, as soon as she was introduced to me asked, "How's your pancreas?"

Mom started out fine, but she looked over at me and her voice started to crack. We have a saying in our house that it is the Aoki (Mom's maiden name) gene that turns on the waterworks! I think her story really impacted a lot of people. She also went on to say how much the teachings of Buddha have really helped her become a better person, more happy, more peaceful, and more giving to others. She also expressed so much gratitude to her church and friends. And, yes, her entire speech was in Japanese but we had headphones to listen to the interpreter.

She did a wonderful job. I am so proud of her accomplishment! Way to go Mom! I even think you had Dad in tears, too!

An oreo cow, of course! When we drive through highway 152 through Pacheco Pass, I'm usually the passenger so I'm often either asleep or checking out the scenery. I have spotted these funny-looking cattle that are black with a wide band of white in the center. As soon as I saw one, I did a double-take because it was such an unusual sight. I mentioned it to RT, and he told me that when he was working on a project with Fish & Game in that area, they came across some ranchers who mentioned their cattle and called 'em oreo cows. These are a rare breed of Scottish beef cattle called Belted Galloways, or "Belties" that were introduced to the US in the '50s.

How appropriate...nothing goes better than oreos and milk (although these are beef cattle, so that's not entirely fitting). Interesting! If you're ever traveling through Pacheco Pass, if you're heading north, look to the left and you just might see an oreo cow!

A couple of weeks ago, my sister, brother-in-law, and nephews came over to visit and have some much needed R & R. This was probably the first, longest road trip for my 6 month-old nephew, and he did such an amazing job! I hope they all had a relaxing time...

On the flip side, RT and I went to Aptos to spend a relaxing 4th of July weekend at the Granlund Bed & Breakfast. We also had to stop in the Bay Area for some errands, which was not fun over the holidays; but once we got back to the B & B, it was nice to just hang out with family!

In the fall of 2007, I was diagnosed with polycystic disease. It came as a complete shock to me because at the time I was diagnosed, I was going through in vitro fertilization, and taking tons of hormone medications for an upcoming egg retrieval. At this particular appointment, RT was out of town for work. I was already high-strung on all these hormones, so when Dr. Cao, my nephrologist, said in his heavily accented Chinese-English that I had PKD, I actually took it quite well. It was when I started making a follow-up appointment at the frantic front desk that I broke down and started crying hysterically. The receptionist looked at me like I was crazy, but was very sympathetic.
But, this is not a story about me. I'm sure my time will come when it comes to this disease. This story is about the most unselfish person that I know, whom I admire and love purely. This is about my mom.
About a year ago, RT and I noticed on some blood work that her kidney function was in the abnormal range. I remembered years ago that Mom had cysts on her kidneys and had had blood in her urine at some point. This prompted me to get her connected with Dr. Cao. I wanted to find out if she had PKD as well, and at the very least, find out why her kidney function was abnormal.
She had the blood work, the ultrasounds, and the appointments every 3 months. They found cysts, but Mom kept telling me everything was fine--until a few days ago.
Mom called me and said she just had her appointment with Dr. Cao. She told me she received "shocking" news. Dr. Cao said her kidney function was declining and that she needed to be put on a donor list right away for a transplant.
This actually did not come as a shock to me. Rather, I wondered, why did it take so long to find out? After talking to my sister who spoke with Dr. Cao to get the information that isn't always correctly disseminated from Mom, her overall kidney funtion from both kidneys is at an astonishing low 23%! I cannot believe how healthy Mom looks and that she doesn't have any physical symptoms like back pain or bloody urine.
Regardless, we go up to San Francisco for a consultation and begin the steps for the donor process. As this is starting to sink in, I just hope that I can be strong for my mom as she always has been for me.
You know when I was really sick, I often thought that I was the "lucky" one. I think it is much harder to be the one who has to worry and agonize over a loved one being sick. I've never had to be in this position, and it scares the hell out of me...

My mom, RT, and I took a little hike to Montaňa de Oro State Park, which is located a few miles south of Los Osos. The name comes from the spring wildflowers that bloom a golden color. I had actually been there before when I took a field trip with one of my college Science and Math programs. I remember its beauty from 10 years ago, and it's still just as beautiful today. I think the highlight for my mom was that she was able to ride in RT's bus! We sat in the back and felt like we were on a real tour, complete with tour guide. If you come visit, we'll be sure to take you to this scenic hotspot!