She's certainly not a baby anymore! It has been two years since I have been able to sleep without my child. P was a great sleeper as a baby, never had any issues putting her to bed or sleeping by herself...until a series of unfortunate events occurred, or at least from what I can remember. Roughly two years ago, she had a few back-to-back colds/viruses. She was still in her crib, but we must've taken her out because she was having a hard time breathing and I was probably paranoid about her not being able to breathe or sleep. One night turned into many nights and fast forward two years later, she still wasn't sleeping by herself.
She was also at the age where the imagination started going into overdrive and getting scared of shadows, the dark, and everything in between. After talking to her doctors, reading so many articles, getting a new, big girl bed, redecorating her room to her her equine taste, it still didn't matter. She just wanted me with her. Me, never being one to let her cry it out, plus this girl is so stubborn, she would've cried FOREVER (I actually did try this out and it was a disaster both times). She slept in our bed, I slept in her room, we tried many different combinations. Needless to say, I was very sleep deprived, plus my back was killing me, not being in my bed. Not to mention that Robb and I never had time together after dinner, and I was deprived of my ME time.
Every time a lengthy holiday came up, I said, ok, it's time to nip this in the bud. Never happened. I was so tired that I just didn't want to deal with it. I even found articles that said sleeping with the entire family is normal in some cultures (Asian families, Native Americans, etc.) and actually promoted self confidence. Bingo! So, I justified our sleeping arrangements in this way. Then, about a month ago, I had the brilliant idea of moving all our beds back upstairs to the master bedroom. RT and I could be in the same bed, P would be in the same room, one big happy family! The bedroom is on the same floor as the living room, so I thought I could get my evenings back since the proximity of the bedroom was close. Luckily, my husband is the voice of logic and he posed some concerns.
What's going to happen in a year? Two years? How long will this go on? Plus the fact that we'd have to move all this furniture up and down the stairs.
I came to my senses. This recent plan sounded LUDICROUS! I also started noticing that P's fears seemed to be getting worse, like, not going to the bathroom by herself even in the light of day or to her room. Ok, back to my research. Then I came across this article. Now, we've heard all the tips and recommendations about how to put your child to bed and all the strategies, but I've never come across an article that was so comprehensive. This pyschologist, Dr. David O'Grady explains the problem, why it's happening, why as parents do allow this to happen, and then gives a solution with real action items and a step-by-step guideline.
I followed this guideline, primed P of what was going to happen, hoped for the best, and braced myself for a few nights of torture.
The first night, I had to check up on her five times. But, she never cried, never called out to me, and really was brave. Of course, I bribed her with a prize if she could get through just one night alone. And, she did it! HALLELUJAH! The prize she wanted was a trip to the candy store for one of those big lollipops. What's few bucks for a night of sleep?
The next night, I only had to check up on her once and she was already fast asleep. Beautiful. After the novelty wore off a few nights later, she asked me to sleep in her room just one night. I told her she was doing so well. It's all right to be scared, etc. I am so thrilled to report that it's been 19 days of sleeping by herself. I really am proud of her.
Even more so, I'm so ecstatic that I have my evenings back! Now, hopefully I can catch up on some lost sleep!
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